Jo Koy 2024 Golden Globes Monologue: The Best Jokes



Jo Koy kicked off his first-ever Golden Globes hosting gig Sunday with a monologue that referenced the size of “Saltburn” star Barry Keoghan’s penis and Ozempic in front of top Hollywood talent that had a mixed response to his jokes.

“Some I wrote, some other people wrote. I got the gig 10 days ago, you want a perfect monologue?” the standup comedian said after one of his lines fell a little flat.

Koy poked fun at a moment in “Saltburn” when Keoghan’s character Oliver Quick strips down in a field and reveals to his friends his impressively large genitals, asking Keoghan from the stage: “Where is your penis seated? Down front? That was the real star of the show.”

The comedian worked in jokes about almost all the top titles nominated at the awards show, including “The Color Purple,” which he says is “what happens to your butt when you take Ozempic.”

For “Barbie,” Koy said “it was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll” while watching the Margot Robbie-led movie from Greta Gerwig, quickly adding “something about your eyes, Ryan,” while staring at Robbie’s Ken, Ryan Gosling.

“I loved ‘Oppenheimer,’ I’ve just got one complaint: It needed another hour, I feel like it needed some more backstory,” Koy said. “My New Year’s resolution for 2024 is to finish ‘Oppenheimer’ in 2025.”

For “Killers of the Flower Moon,” Koy said the lesson he took away from the Martin Scorsese film was “white people stole everything.” “Not like 97%, you guys stole 100% of everything. You took the land, you took the oil, you took the premise of the movie,” Koy said, adding, after a mixed response from the crowd: “What, that was your premise? That’s hilarious, I don’t care. It’s just that the room is really white.”

Koy was announced as this year’s host on Dec. 21, just down to the wire less than a month out from the Jan. 7 airdate of the awards show on CBS.

The “Funny Is Funny World Tour” star has released five stand-up specials on Comedy Central and Netflix, including his 2022 Netflix special, “Live From The Los Angeles Forum.”

Additionally, Koy starred in Universal Picture’s 2022 film “Easter Sunday,” which is based on his own experiences and stand-up comedy. He most recently appeared in Disney’s “Haunted Mansion” movie and had voice roles in Netflix’s “Monkey King” and “Leo.”

The Globes are currently airing live on CBS and streaming on Paramount+.

Variety parent company PMC owns Golden Globes producer Dick Clark Prods. in a joint venture with Eldridge.

More to come…


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